and sweaty as hell
The hunt for red jobtober continues. I have yet to find even a glimpse of hope with teaching. There might be a diamond in the rough with conversation classes, but that is in the beginning stages and won´t be a fully functioning death star, capable of wiping out entire planets for some time. I made up a flyer at an internet spot, and two girls were peeping my shiz, and they said they wanted classes because they are studying hoteleria, so we´ll see. I got their information and sent them emails, but nothing yet.
So with prospects low, and looking stale, I busted my wild card, the ´ol call center ace in the hole. I filled out a resume online and within two hrs of posting my CV I got a call from the company. The next day I went in for an interview. our of us got interviewed and it looks like they (Teletech) is hiring a grip of fools. Something about a big contract with one of the biggest companies in the world yada yada yada.
I went to the call center main office where a group of 4 of us were interviewed. To start, they sat us around a table and described the job to us. I was hoping for 4hrs a day, 1500 pesos which is what a couple of argentines had told me was possible…..WRONG! The gig would be six hrs a day, six days a week. Whatever, a job´s a job, right? Well it gets better. The hours would be from 5pm or later to six hrs after you start. You do get compensated rather nicely though….2200-2400 pesos monthly aka officially making me a king in this country. With rent being less that ¼ of my net intake, i´d be taking nightly peso baths, straight up duck tales style. So we getting the one over from the HR señoritas, they´re telling us how great it is to work in a call center, that Teletech really values their workers, that they have pizza parties and give out prizes every month as incentives to come to work. Get this, you get rewarded for coming to work on time every day. Wow. If I worked here they wouldn´t know what hit them. I´d go risky business style on them and show up 10, no 15 minutes early one day. Granted this could potenially cause an internal breakdown in the company and as we´ve seen the economic crisis cross oceans, I should be carefull not to add to the world´s problems. I must use my powers for good, and not evil.
But back to the interview, after telling us their company´s intermost secrets, they asked for our input of an ideal workplace, our input, etc etc. After we realized how awesome it would be to sit in front of a computer for 6hrs a day and have people bitch at us from far away, we went upstairs for the language assessment part of the interview. I had a riveting convo about weather, likes and dislikes, colors, and hobbies. Then I took a customer service quiz. This was to simulate a real work scenario, and in order to bring up a client you need to write down their last name and account number. It was an automated test, and you had six minutes to answer various questions for different clts with different problems. For example, Susan Bosco called wanting to know why she was charged a late fee for her last payment. Susan doesn´t speak clearly, so I had to ask her to re-spell her name before we could even get things rolling. Then she claims that she paid on time, she just forgot to put a stamp on the envelope. Yeah right honey, you can´t tell over the phone, but I´m rolling my eyes and making a funny grin. You see, normally this wouldn´t be a problem, but unfortunately for Susan she has a history of late payments, so she´s pretty much SOL. Susan has been waiting on hold now for 35 seconds and she has gotten rather irritated and has made some very explicit and derrogatory comments towards me and my family. One of my choices to respond is the following- I´m sorry for the inconvenience, today we are expecting an unusually high number of calls. Even though you are completely out of line and psychotic, you are totally right and I will bend over backwards and help you through your problem. AKA Will you please take a bat and smash my head to end this torture. Some of the answers were great, like Sir, if you don´t calm down and stop yelling I will cut off this call. Apparently you don´t disconnect the call…….EVER, but I can´t even begin to imagine what some of the people say.
Next I took a basic computer knowledge test, cut and paste this, delete this, open microsoft excel, type this paragraph, look this up on the internet. There was however some confusing vocab like search engine, but whatever, you only needed to get a 65 to pass. I did. My fellow comrades weren´t as fortunate. After all the tests came the grand finale. I had a test that judged the accent of my English, how authentic it sounded. I repeated sentences like, Your order is being processed, or I appologize for that, and the last one was Have a good day! So I pretty much got offered the job straight up…pretty sweet, because it is a job, and it will be ridiculously easy speaking my native language all day long, and when fools try to get all pompous on me, there will be no intimidation factor. My one real problem is this company is legit and doesn´t pay people under the table…..so I need to go to the immigration office and figure out how I can legally work in this country. Sounds like shananigans if you ask me.
The job doesn´t start until Nov 17th, so I’ve got a while to keep looking for things and hopefully by the 17th I can politely decline the job. If not, I´ll have 7 wks of training. Apparently the call center tecnitian is real complicated shiz that we need 7 weeks, 6 days a week to learn. There are a lot of young people that work there, and who knows, it could be fun! I´m always down to try something new, and then later say skeet skeet skeet I´m out if it isn´t a good fit. So no complaints here, life is good, the river wild, and the sun is shining.