Hooray for Canada!
So these blog entries will be, like the title, Just For Laughs.....again, warning, this material may not be suitable for certain ages, and the content may be explict. Also, this is stuff that I find funny, which I have been told doesn´t fall into the category of ¨everyone¨ thinks this is funny. Read at your own risk........
Last Sunday, when I was walking back from Parque Independencia, I stopped off at a gas station to go number 1. I drink lots o water, so I´ve mapped out in my head safe havens, bushes, back alleys, and real bathrooms in my head. Survival skills suckas!! anyways, I walked into the bathroom and there was a little kid there asking for money. I didn´t say anything and proceeded to the urinal. Little Jimmy comes right up next to me, almost touching my hip, as I´m getting ready to take a slash. Talk about stage fright! He didn´t move, and let me tell you he got a free show...I was very vulnerable to say the least, perfect time to jack-a-gringo.....lucky for me jimmy must have been five or six, so I figured I could take him if things got ugly.
Sat night while walking around the city with Mike and Jeff, we get to Parque España....it´s the park by the river, tons of fools are always chilling there, day and night. As we were walking through, we pass a group of people sitting on a bench. What appear to be 2 street dogs start to get a little barky, so we mount up, grab some ammo, and walk past the dogs with our arms cocked, ready to fire. This is while the group of people are just staring at us as the dogs are barking. And you can tell when a dog is barking because he wants to say whattup or if he´s pissed.....this one was more pissed. Regardless, we make it through the gauntlet unharmed. We find a bench for ourselves and were kicking it, telling jokes, and having a grand ´ol time when the group of people walk by with the dogs. I can´t remember if one was on a leash, but I don´t think so. So it must have been their dogs! I´ve seen some street dogs that kick it around groups of people. It is really weird, I´ve never seen people love street dogs, and I´ve never seen so many well fed street dogs here in Rosario. People actually touch them. But anyways, it was nice to know that they didn´t control their angry aggressive dog when we were just walking by, doing nothing to them. So we kick it for a little longer at the bench and then decide to roll back into the Centro. We´re crossing the street from the park side, coming up on a restaurant on the corner and I see two dogs chilling outside. No big deal. Dogs love chilling outside restaurants, and I´m sure they´re so healthy because peeps give them food.....WRONG! It´s the same dogs, and barky gets all hot and bothered again! The dog approaches us, and Mike shrieks and jumps into the street and runs into some random dude. To make things even better, the same group of people were sitting outside of the restaurant, not once did they tell the dog to shut the fuzz up, or I´m sorry that my dog wants to eat you, he usually is really friendly. Who knows, maybe you had to be there, but I thought it was great that we walked past the same dogs/peeps twice. We could have gone any direction to get into the Centro......it was fate! It really brought back the nightmares of 1 800 Got Junk.
My apt......three´s company, right? To bad instead of 2 beautiful rosarina womens, I get Victor and César, two men who are roughly 55 and 60, and interesting cats to say the least. Well, this last week our threesome turned into a foursome. I don´t know if I´ve described my apt yet, but it is pretty basic. Three rooms, bathroom, kitchen, outdoor spot to wash clothes......i´ll take pics and eventually get post them. All in good time....but Victor showed me the closet too, where he stores his hunting things, random SHI, and dog food. It also has a bed, for his señora(wife). Apparently she comes around every once in a while. Sounds like a really happy marriage they´ve got going on. He didn´t make it sound like she was a regular though, so here I am parading around the house Tom Cruise risky business, glasses and all, and out pops Raquel from the kitchen. ¡Dios Mio! Maybe she does live here too, who knows? What I do know is that she has a dog, now I live with Sara and her sister. Sara is chill, sister isn´t. Dog barks at me as I go to the bathroom at night. I was making a salame sandwich, and sister was licking my hand, I let her do it because I was trying to let her get comfortable with me, gain some trust, you know, and as I go to pet her head she jumps up and bites my hand! Full Chomp! Raquel sees the whole interaction, and guess what she says.....¨Your hand must have something tasty on it¨ Amazing! No reprimand to the dog, I guess humans are to blame with any animal related incidents. Who knows. To sweeten the deal, Raquel and sister sleep in the closet next to my room, and I hear sisters gunts and scratches and who the heck knows what she´s doing over there. Victor came up to me the other night and asked me if it´s a problem having Raquel here. What am I supposed to say? Yes, get your Señora out of your house? I don´t think so. She´s aight I guess, now I know who´s been cleaning the bathroom. The spot is chill though, I do have a colony of birds that wake me up every morning, or better yet, that keep me up because I don´t get tired until 5 or 6, just when they get up and start causing hell. Then come the buses, and the car alarms, and the Jon Bon Jovi that bumps on every car stereo......but it could definitely be worse. At least sister doesn´t sleep in my room!
A couple of days ago I got home and started cooking dinner to find Victor and Raquel going out together. Maybe 5 mins later Cesar comes out of his cave to make dinner too. He asks where Victor and Raquel are, and when I say that they´re out, immediately a wiley grin jumps onto his face, his eyebrow turns to the ceiling, and he sprints out of the kitchen. Two seconds later I hear his stereo blasting, Fogerty of course, and he struts back into the kitchen, shirt off, tango two step spin move and all as he starts making his brazilian rice. I snuck some cookies and watched MTV latino and I didn´t even read at all that day. It´s so great when mom and dad leave the house to ourselves, no matter how brief the time may be. It kinda sucked though, cause César talked on the phone all night while eating popcorn and ice cream and he didn´t even share! I´m telling on his ass that´s fo sho.